If a man asks you why you’re single, I don’t care if you have to make up a whole ass LIE, do NOT tell him its because you’ve been hurt, abused and misused. DO NOT!!!
I don’t care if you have to make up some shit, I don’t care if you got to go back to your 10th grade boyfriend, you tell him its because your ex set the bar SO high, and even though ya’ll didn’t work out, you will never settle for anything less than how well you were treated. Or tell him your father was such an amazing man that you cannot bear to be with someone who treats you less than he did.
Men can hear desperation and pain and those with bad intentions LOVE hearing that shit, they hear victim, low self-esteem, easy prey, I PROMISE!! And most men will be intimidated once they find out you ain’t going for the okey-doke!! They’ll disappear if they cannot meet that made up standard!!
Plus, you get to rewrite your narrative, tell a new story which puts you on a higher vibration.
Lie yo ass off, Sis, and thank me later!!”
Phoebe Doyothing Burgess, Facebook
Guys this has worked out for me n kept me away from so many toxic n lame people because they knew that I knew that I deserve better.
You don’t own anyone more than no. I usually just shrug and don’t give people anything to feed off of and it’s dies after that. But this is a really good idea for chasing off the creeps.
Sometimes we are ungrateful for those who fight for us. I like my feminists rude angry and loud. Being passive never got us anywhere and if feminists in the past gave a shit about being viewed as rude we wouldn’t have made any progress. I’m sure people told them to “rationally” talk to men about why they deserve respect. I’m sure they were told to keep expanding their emotional labor, and I’m sure people told them it would be more effective if men didn’t think women hated them. Same song different generation. Stay rude, oppressors always benefit from your silence and kind heart.
The Dutch resistance was widely believed to be a man’s effort in a man’s war. If women were involved, the thinking went, they were likely doing little more than handing out anti-German pamphlets or newspapers.
Yet Freddie Oversteegen and her sister Truus, two years her senior, were rare exceptions — a pair of teenage women who took up arms against Nazi occupiers and Dutch “traitors” on the outskirts of Amsterdam. With Hannie Schaft, a onetime law student with fiery red hair, they sabotaged bridges and rail lines with dynamite, shot Nazis while riding their bikes, and donned disguises to smuggle Jewish children across the country and sometimes out of concentration camps.
In perhaps their most daring act, they seduced their targets in taverns or bars, asked if they wanted to “go for a stroll” in the forest — and “liquidated” them, as Ms. Oversteegen put it, with a pull of the trigger.
“We had to do it,” she told one interviewer. “It was a necessary evil, killing those who betrayed the good people.” When asked how many people she had killed or helped kill, she demurred: “One should not ask a soldier any of that.” […]
“The witch-burnings did not take place during the ‘Dark Ages,’ as we commonly suppose. They occurred between the fifteenth and eighteenth centuries– precisely during and following the Renaissance, that glorious period when, as we are taught, ‘men’s’ minds were being freed from bleakness and superstition. While Michelangelo was sculpting and Shakespeare writing, the witches were burning. The whole secular ‘Enlightenment,’ in fact, the male professions of doctor, lawyer, judge, artist, all rose from the ashes of the destroyed women’s culture. Renaissance men were celebrating naked female beauty in their art, while women’s bodies were being tortured and burned by the hundreds of thousands all around them.”
- Monica Sjöö & Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth (1987)
“Sadly, girls’ trauma is more likely to be missed than that of boys. In children younger than about 11, boys tend to act out and behave badly if they are unhappy - so their trauma is noticed and (hopefully) addressed.Girls tend to react by becoming “people pleasers”. It’s as if they see trauma as a punishment, and hope that they can avoid it by being “good”. They will talk less, work harder, always be springing up ready to help anyone with anything at the slightest indication they may want it. They watch the emotional states of adults like a hawk and soothe, placate and offer practical help at the slightest sign of anger or displeasure. As this is the kind of behavior encouraged in girls, no one takes any notice until it’s too late.”
the Drake and Millie situation? why is this being allowed to happen. I know it happens all over the world but here - right in the public eye it’s happening and nobody is thinking anything of it??? Or are turning a blind fucking eye??
“The low-maintenance woman, the ideal woman, has no appetite. This is not to say that she refuses food, sex, romance, emotional effort; to refuse is petulant, which is ironically more demanding. The woman without appetite politely finishes what’s on her plate, and declines seconds. She is satisfied and satisfiable.
A man’s appetite can be hearty, but a woman with an appetite is always voracious: her hunger always overreaches, because it is not supposed to exist. If she wants food, she is a glutton. If she wants sex, she is a slut. If she wants emotional care-taking, she is a high-maintenance bitch or, worse, an “attention whore”: an amalgam of sex-hunger and care-hunger, greedy not only to be fucked and paid but, most unforgivably of all, to be noticed.”
When men’s emotional issues no longer leave body counts full of dead or battered or deeply emotionally drained women, then I will care about grown men whining about their lack of emotional insight. Until then make your own groups, get a therapist who isn’t a random female friend, and figure it out- it’s not feminists’ problem.
Sure, relationships typically start with a honeymoon phase that then grows into something deeper but a bit more mellow if things work out, but it’s depressing as fuck that this has turned into a really, really common script for straight relationships that says it’s totally normal and inevitable for dudes to just become more and more emotionally checked out of the relationship, and leave it to their girlfriend/wife to perform if she wants to get even a crumb of affection from him. I’m so fucking tired of seeing women constantly being taught that decades of emotional neglect is just our lot in life.
people underestimate how complex and corrupted a women’s relationship to our own desires can be (because we have spent a lifetime being told what we want doesn’t matter…in general…and that we exist to serve and please others)
This is the thing I struggle to articulate in discussions about how sex positivity and porn culture complicate consent, especially in the context of BDSM. I was in my 30′s before I realized that getting a thrill from being desired wasn’t the same as having my own desires. I’ve had to make a conscious effort to sort out my own desire from a lifetime of being conditioned to an almost Pavlovian form of arousal at things like porn and kink and the rapey shit that passes for sex on TV and film. This is what feminists mean when we question how meaningful “consent” is when we have lived our whole lives immersed in the propaganda of male desire.
